Everyone has that moment where they wish they could go back in time and change those awful things that happened. Maybe, to try and fix that one failed friendship. Perhaps, to stop yourself from making a stupid mistake and dating the person you know is no good for you.
Go back and revise properly for the exam you had in the summer.
Change that awful haircut you had when you were ten.
Admit that you were wrong to call your friend an idiot.
Say you’re sorry to the ones that you no longer see.
Give that homeless man some change. Help that elderly lady with her bags. Ask that man you saw on the train, if he was all right, he looked upset.
Try to mend your relationship with your father. Visit your grandpa before he died. Say goodbye to the friend you lost too soon.
Go back and ditch all the people who made your life hell at school. Don’t bother with the snobs, show offs or otherwise known, ‘popular kids’ who were wearing make up at ten, having sex at 16 and smoking round the alleyways near school.
Don’t bother with the people who ditch you when someone better comes along. Put that asshole in their place for trying to shut you down in a debate. Don’t let those classmates walk all over you.
There’s a whole list of things I thought I would want to go back and change. But you see, the thing is all of those occurrences that you thought were awful and embarrassing, made you stronger today. They changed your outlook on life in one way or the other; they’ve formed a part of who you are.
You’ve made friends because of them, real friends. You’ve let go of the people who didn’t care for you. You are you because of all the good, all the bad, all the strange and wonderful.
So, if someone was to ask me now, would I go back and change a thing from my past, I would say no. In all of the bad things that have happened, I have learnt something, felt something, seen something.
I am who I am because of my differences. And I’d like to keep it that way. Wouldn’t you?