There aren’t enough words in the English vocabulary to describe what this feels like. Sometimes, she wonders if it’s not meant to have words, maybe this feeling is just too much for the human brain to comprehend. But she knows it, as true and real as she knows her name, down to the bones in her body, to her heart and soul, she knows this feeling. Her hands slip past his, trying to pull at the seams of their fading relationship. They are like lights in the night sky, ships sailing past each other, barely meeting.
Once, they’d been happy. But that moment was over, far over. Yet, at night, lying beside him, curled up in his arms, she feels as though nothing’s changed. Of course, that’s ridiculous, everything has changed, they barely speak and when they do, they can see the heartbreak in each other’s eyes. They know what’s coming. It was inevitable. That doesn’t make it any less painful.
When he leaves, he kisses her forehead and whispers, “I love you.”
She smiles through her tears, waving goodbye to him at her door, “I love you too.”
Sometimes, love isn’t meant to last. But it’s always there. She’ll always love him and he’ll always love her. It’s a dull pain in her heart, making her chest feel tight as she watches him drive away. It’s never easy to say goodbye, but she knows what it feels like. It’s dark and cold, like her soul had been crushed or her heart left with no warmth. It’s feeling alone and lost, when there are people around her.
But then, one day, she’ll meet someone else and fall in love again. And the ache she feels right now will pass and something else will fill its place, acceptance, self-love and confidence. She’ll be free of strings and attachments, until the next time. But maybe that time won’t end.
Maybe, if she’s really lucky, she’ll never feel this ache again.